Campari Orange Spritzers
- By Katie Roche
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- 30 Mar, 2018
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One might think that undertaking the process of cooking through an entire cookbook would seem less daunting by the fact that that book begins with a chapter of cocktail recipes. One might think that the delights of alcoholic beverages might ease the mental burden of knowing that one will, in just a few short pages, need to both acquire and somehow prepare a live lobster. My family doesn't drink at all, so such things as cocktails are new to me, and I’ve never heard of a lot of the components used for various cocktail-makings.
The item-quests involved in successfully making an Ina Garten recipe will come as no surprise to anyone who has ever read one, and are the subject of some majestically accurate memes:
So to kick off my first item-quest - Campari - I started with Google because what is Campari??? I had no idea. Even more concerning to me is that most of my more cocktail-savvy friends also didn’t seem to know, so I was certain at the outset that this was some kind of fancy and difficult-to-find liquor. Given that the first thing I saw when I entered a South Carolina grocery store upon moving here was a man with a cart *full* of Bud Light and mayonnaise (and nothing else), I wasn’t holding my breath that I’d be able to find any obscure liquor products around here. I suppose I underestimated the south’s penchant for drinking, however, because I located it at the first store I searched. I was hopeful that it would come in tiny bottles like the one other liquor I had ever bothered to hunt down for Ina purposes - Grand Marnier - but alas; a call to one other local liquor store and I learned that the smallest available quantity of Campari is 750mL.
I ended up buying it at the Class Six on Fort Jackson where I wouldn’t have to pay the taxes on it, and waited in some absolutely enormous queues because, due to my charming ignorance about all things alcohol, I had not considered the consequences of trying to buy anything at the Class Six the day before St. Patrick’s Day on a military base - the nuisance equivalent of the commissary on payday, or, for my Alaskans, Costco on PFD weekend...or, for my South Carolinians, just trying to get anywhere, ever, on I-26. Anyway, giant bottle of Campari in hand, I headed to the Kroger to try to find a highball glass, after Googling that too. I’m still not entirely certain what the shape of a glass has to do with the beverage. Any and all bartender knowledge is welcome, because to me, a Mason jar is a perfectly fine beverage receptacle for any and every beverage, and thanks to my Alaskan upbringing, I have dozens of Mason jars from the yearly salmon-smoking process.
Yes, I juiced my oranges
with my own two hands.
I literally counted six ice cubes per drink, like she said to do. (Seriously though?) I measured my Campari, and my orange juice...and then my highball glass was nearly full and I hadn’t even added the Pellegrino yet. After all the drama of trying to locate a highball glass for this, it didn’t even fit a quarter of the called-for amount of Pellegrino, and I took a picture in the highball glass (only for the purpose of posting) and then promptly poured my drink into a pint glass like the proletarian that I am. The Pellegrino still didn’t fit, so I have no idea what Ina thinks she’s talking about here, and I’m a little miffed, because I feel like she should have seen this coming from her recipe testing. Or does she have some kind of supersized highball glass that only residents of the Hamptons would know about? Or do residents of the Hamptons ever supersize anything?
#1: Butternut Squash Soup
So with that, #1: Juice of a Few Flowers
We went to Publix to ItemQuest for this and Dan said, "Don't we already have strawberries???" And I had to confess that I had eaten them all because it's honestly amazing how good fruit can be when it's 1) in season, 2) somewhat local, and 3) not ludicrously expensive. I'm about to travel home to Alaska for about a month, and it's going to put a real damper on my current fruit-snacking habits when I go into Fred Meyer for some strawbs and they're like, $7/lb and already trying to be moldy. Also needed blueberries (partly for the jam, mostly for the snax), one Granny Smith apple, and more superfine sugar. Publix had all of these things, plus about a million old people 'cause Sunday + Publix = Old People City.
So down to the granola bar ingredients. I rolled up to Kroger only to find that their already meager bulk bins had been EMPTIED because if you scoop dates into a bag and then someone else scoops dates into a bag, you might get the coronavirus. I'm glad they've taken the precaution of removing this shopping option, since I cannot resisting licking my hands after every grocery trip I make. Thankfully, they still had the lil tower of small containers of some of the weirder items right there in the organic section, which was where I was able to find dates. The rest of this stuff was on the baking aisle, with the exception of wheat germ which was, for some reason, with the cereal. I'm still kind of unclear on what wheat germ is actually used for by people, and the context of it being located on the cereal aisle makes me wonder even more. Do people eat it like grape nuts? Sprinkle it on stuff like how people like to do with nutritional yeast right now? ("It tastes just like cheese!" You know what else tastes like cheese? Actual cheese. You're welcome.) Anyway, I was very grateful that Kroger at least had everything I needed and I didn't have to go on a for real ItemQuest.
ItemQuest was only dramatic because the stores just DID NOT have puff pastry sheets; I was only finding it in "shells". I tried Bi-Lo and Dan tried Food Lion before he finally located sheets at Publix. The rest of the ingredients, I already had on hand!