Fresh Lemon Mousse
- By Katie Roche
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- 10 Dec, 2019
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I've been sitting on the couch procrastinating handling my life today for about an hour now. I did wake up and get my workout in, and I drank my protein (EW) and at this point I had kind of been feeling like that was Enough For the Day, but here we are. I need to tell you about this lemon mousse...and then I need to work on my Christmas card situation, probably forgetting some gift shopping, a whole bunch of knitting projects, and don't get me started on laundry. Actually, if you COULD get me started on laundry, like actually doing it, that would be great. For those of you with children who are living an absolutely relentless schedule of pageants and parties, my sympathies. I'll cut to the chase: don't make this lemon mousse, you don't have time for this right now.
Ingredients here: lemons (obvs), a heck-ton of eggs, sugar, heavy whipping cream, and lemon curd. To be honest, I sent Dan to the store for this one, so I'm not sure where he went, but most stores carry at least one type of lemon curd. It'll be with the jams and jellies or, if not there, possibly near British food in an international aisle. Much to my surprise, Ina makes no reference about varieties of lemon curd, nor does she mention that homemade lemon curd is a lot better but that, if you can't be bothered, "store bought is fine". In this case, though, it's really true: homemade lemon curd is a lot better.
Ingredients here: lemons (obvs), a heck-ton of eggs, sugar, heavy whipping cream, and lemon curd. To be honest, I sent Dan to the store for this one, so I'm not sure where he went, but most stores carry at least one type of lemon curd. It'll be with the jams and jellies or, if not there, possibly near British food in an international aisle. Much to my surprise, Ina makes no reference about varieties of lemon curd, nor does she mention that homemade lemon curd is a lot better but that, if you can't be bothered, "store bought is fine". In this case, though, it's really true: homemade lemon curd is a lot better.
The first bit of this involved zesting a couple of lemons. I know there is a device specifically for zesting, but my microplane honestly works so much better. I zest citrus for lots of recipes both sweet and savory and end up with this ridiculous issue of having bald citrus fruits all over my kitchen because I end up using the zest in much larger quantity than the actual juice.
Dan *really liked* what he perceived to be an artsy photograph he did here; personally I think it kind of looks like he snapped a pic as he was dropping the camera but...out of appreciation for his help in this process, I'm using it. Tilt your head and behold: a giant heatproof bowl with egg yolks, sugar, lemon juice, and lemon zest. To the stove!
Ina sits on a throne of lies and says this will thicken in about ten minutes. I HATE recipes like this. What is "thick"? She likens the appropriate thickness to pudding and like...girl, how often do you think I make pudding? That would be NEVER. In fact, last time I made anything even CLOSE to pudding it was for something one of our friends eats in his native land of Northern Minnesota called "cookie salad" and you actually whisk instant pudding mix with buttermilk and it becomes unappetizingly CHUNKY. I tend to steer clear of things involving pudding, especially here in the south where the pudding of choice is BANANA. The south continues to be a punishment in so many ways, honestly. Anyway, Dan took over whisking after I'd been at it for like fifteen minutes and eventually we decided it was as thicc as it was gonna be.
While whatever that pudding-like substance is chills (for one to two HOURS, did I mention you moms do not have time for this???) WE chilled, and then came back to the kitchen and started whipping the egg whites to make the meringue that gets folded in. There is a clip from a popular sitcom involving a mother and son making enchiladas in which the mom CLEARLY does not know how to cook and is forcing her son to help her with the recipe. At one point, the recipe instructs them to "fold in" the cheese (as I'm writing this I'm wondering what kind of enchilada necessitates folded in cheese? Enchiladas are not that delicate.) and they end up just basically yelling at each other about what it means to "fold in" something. So as Dan and I were taking turns trying to effectively fold in this meringue, we kept yelling, "You FOLD IT IN, DAVID." YouTube "fold it in David" and enjoy. I literally cannot think about that clip without laughing out loud. Anyway, the idea here behind folding in your meringue is not to deflate it - it's all nice and airy - by just aggressively stirring it into the significantly denser substance. You want to FOLD IT IN, DAVID. Once that's folded in, you whip heavy whipping cream in the same mixer and fold THAT in. So much folding. I don't like folding anything - not laundry, and not food substances - so this was a trying time for me. Finally, you fold in about half a cup of that store bought lemon curd and let me tell you: this did NOT FOLD. I tried it. Dan tried it. It was simply too gelatinous, which is possibly one of the most unappetizing adjectives ever to describe food. We did the best we could but I ended up dodging the larger chunks (barf emoji) when I poured this into the soufflé dish to chill. For the record, I'm almost CERTAIN that homemade lemon curd would have folded in MUCH better. I counted on Ina to know when store-bought wasn't fine and I really feel like she let us down here.
The next day...more whipped cream to be made, this time lightly sweetened. And then, because this recipe is an entire nightmare, you get to PIPE IT. Like...my piping skills are *not great* and this was no exception. I also, due to having the hand strength of a 90-year-old, cannot pipe things that aren't extremely light so we're lucky this was whipped cream. Royal icing? Forget about it. If you ever see anything come from my kitchen that has been royally iced, be sure to thank Dan because that was definitely his work. He's really good at it too. Like one time, I decided to make Alaska-shaped sugar cookies for Alaska day with my Alaska cookie-cutter and that's obviously a ridiculously hard shape to outline with royal icing and I did exactly one of them before my hands were like...no thank you, please stop that immediately. So Dan did the rest of them. I don't really understand how he came to be so good at so many domestic things. I mean, good parenting obviously, but like, he is just really talented at decorating stuff. Anyway...I powered through and did a mediocre job of piping this whipped cream.
So I texted my favorite hockey teammate, Chris, about this lemon mousse because he had told me the week before that lemon is his absolute favorite dessert flavor. And his reply was honestly the best ever use of this gif. In case you're not up on popular culture (I found out last weekend that a close friend of mine didn't know what the doge meme was!!!), this gif is from a sketch that I think is from like, 2008? Anyway, I still quote it probably once a week. "Can I Have Your Number" on YouTube, if you're behind. You're welcome, it is hilarious. So I obviously put an ice pack in an insulated grocery bag and brought this entire thing to the ice rink on Sunday night. OH and in case anyone was gonna call me out for how many unread text messages, yes I did scribble that out crappily with the photo editor. I might have 0 unread, or 100. You don't know so you can't @ me.
It does look quite nice! Final thoughts on this thing:
As I've stated twice already, nobody got time for that. Seriously.
My texture turned out incorrect somehow, like it was not firm enough, and I believe that that is because there's no really great way to give specific instructions on how to achieve the correct texture of something. You can liken it to other things, you can give a time estimate for whisking, but at the end of the day, that still ends up with really elusive instructions. I've been baking for a while, and I will give Ina this: her instructions are probably the best and most specific out there. In the case of this particular recipe, I struggled to get it right.
Since I've given my complaints, one of the strong points of this recipe is that it is incredibly lemony, which I feel is a desirable quality in something lemon-flavored, as opposed to being kind of lemon-creamy. I want my lemon-flavored things to be AGGRESSIVELY lemony and tart, and this is. Additionally, it would be a pretty good make-ahead dessert option, as it requires so much chilling. So if you're one of those people who feels more comfortable hosting when everything can be done beforehand, this might work well for you. She has others that are very easy to make ahead as well, though, and I would say this isn't her best. Her best is the mocha icebox cake that, if you've eaten at our house, you've probably had. Not to take away from the majesty of the lemon, but that recipe is on the internet and I highly encourage you to make it for whatever holiday thing requires you to bring dessert. Ultimately, this recipe is essentially Ina - fussy, particular, and pretty good but definitely not for everyone.
As I've stated twice already, nobody got time for that. Seriously.
My texture turned out incorrect somehow, like it was not firm enough, and I believe that that is because there's no really great way to give specific instructions on how to achieve the correct texture of something. You can liken it to other things, you can give a time estimate for whisking, but at the end of the day, that still ends up with really elusive instructions. I've been baking for a while, and I will give Ina this: her instructions are probably the best and most specific out there. In the case of this particular recipe, I struggled to get it right.
Since I've given my complaints, one of the strong points of this recipe is that it is incredibly lemony, which I feel is a desirable quality in something lemon-flavored, as opposed to being kind of lemon-creamy. I want my lemon-flavored things to be AGGRESSIVELY lemony and tart, and this is. Additionally, it would be a pretty good make-ahead dessert option, as it requires so much chilling. So if you're one of those people who feels more comfortable hosting when everything can be done beforehand, this might work well for you. She has others that are very easy to make ahead as well, though, and I would say this isn't her best. Her best is the mocha icebox cake that, if you've eaten at our house, you've probably had. Not to take away from the majesty of the lemon, but that recipe is on the internet and I highly encourage you to make it for whatever holiday thing requires you to bring dessert. Ultimately, this recipe is essentially Ina - fussy, particular, and pretty good but definitely not for everyone.

For this post, I wanted to combine two summertime flavors into the crisp recipe one of my oldest Alaskan friends passed on to me years ago. Rhubarb, if you're unfamiliar, is a reddish stalk that kind of resembles really big celery. It's very tart and is most commonly paired with strawberry. I've rarely seen it star in its own show dessert-wise, but my friend Kylee has been making rhubarb crisp for years and it's the best crisp I know of. Blueberries are usually in season in late summer; I have not been home for a blueberry season since Dan's last deployment in 2018 so in order to make this recipe I actually used blueberries from a friend's parents' farm in upstate SC! They're a little sweeter than the blueberries I'd have picked at home, but they worked well. I'm going to pretend like I was actually picking blueberries at home in Alaska for the purpose of showing you what that would look like.

I was getting all ready to write this post, going through my process with photos starting in my kitchen when I realized that a lot of my friends probably don't know what fireweed is or where it comes from and this recipe actually starts far, far away from my kitchen. This will be the first of a few posts highlighting iconic Alaskan ingredients. I've wanted to do this for a while because my home inspires me in so many ways, writing and cooking particular among them. Fireweed is a wildflower that is rather ubiquitous in southcentral Alaska and is often considered a gauge for how long summer will last. It is said that when the blooms reach the top of the plant, winter is six weeks away. Whether or not that's accurate, fireweed is found all over in late summer in Alaska. Here is some I spotted in mid-July by Eklutna Lake:
If you know Dan and me very well, you probably know by now that if our life were a sitcom, he'd low-key be the funniest character. Because that is true, I thought I'd include his bottom ten with accompanying remarks before giving the actual bottom ten. His are hilarious, but aren't as legitimate as mine because he actually tried way fewer of these than one might think. I realized as he was flipping through the book that my old coworker Cam probably ate more of these foods than anyone else did. The overarching theme of Dan's song of Ina Garten hatred is not the actual taste of the finished product but more how asinine he finds that particular recipe to be. So here you are, Dan's bottom ten.
#1: Butternut Squash Soup
#1: Butternut Squash Soup

You guys asked for my top ten from the blog, so here we go! And I'm thinking that what you *really* want is actually the bottom ten, so I'll go ahead and give you those next week. That post will probably be A LOT funnier. While preparing to write this post, I had Dan flip through the cookbook to give me HIS top ten and he was all disgruntled as he did so and only came up with eight that he even liked at all. "I'm not a picky eater!" he insists. Yeah ok. Although to be fair, I've seen some cookbooks I would only make, like, one thing out of and plenty I'd make nothing out of, though sometimes that's because I find the chef so annoying. @ the Pioneer Woman. I just don't trust someone who puts sour cream in spaghetti and then bakes it. Plus all her recipe intros are about, like, Ladd or Tadd or whatever the heck her husband's name is "coming in from the fields starving for dinner". If I came in from working in a field and you tried to give me sour cream spaghetti, I'd be like, "How about a hot pocket instead? Thx." Anyway, this is not Dan's blog so these are not his top ten. You can ask him which ones he liked, but you'll end up in a long convo about how much he hates Ina Garten. Anyway, these are not ranked or anything, they're just in order from the cookbook.
So with that, #1: Juice of a Few Flowers
So with that, #1: Juice of a Few Flowers

It was Sunday afternoon and I thought to myself, "What a perfect time to make jam!" I mean, how positively quaint: just sitting in my home in suburbia, finished with weekend chores, relaxing with some knitting...why not? Why not make some jam? I mean, obviously my afternoon-kitchen-activity was directed toward jam-making because it was next up in the book BUT whatever, I was kind of excited! Also, this is the last recipe in this book!!! I'm still in the process of deciding what I'll do now, so if there's something you'd like me to make and tell you about in my own fashion - you know, with lots of tangents and jokes - please do let me know! I'll likely continue to tackle Ina content, but may start including some recipe faves and/or foods people text me about a lot! I get a lot of cake questions, a LOT of frosting questions (because meringue buttercream is bae and I've got everyone in my social circles who eats my food on board), and a lot of fish questions. So look for more food to come, even though this is the last recipe in Back to Basics.
We went to Publix to ItemQuest for this and Dan said, "Don't we already have strawberries???" And I had to confess that I had eaten them all because it's honestly amazing how good fruit can be when it's 1) in season, 2) somewhat local, and 3) not ludicrously expensive. I'm about to travel home to Alaska for about a month, and it's going to put a real damper on my current fruit-snacking habits when I go into Fred Meyer for some strawbs and they're like, $7/lb and already trying to be moldy. Also needed blueberries (partly for the jam, mostly for the snax), one Granny Smith apple, and more superfine sugar. Publix had all of these things, plus about a million old people 'cause Sunday + Publix = Old People City.
We went to Publix to ItemQuest for this and Dan said, "Don't we already have strawberries???" And I had to confess that I had eaten them all because it's honestly amazing how good fruit can be when it's 1) in season, 2) somewhat local, and 3) not ludicrously expensive. I'm about to travel home to Alaska for about a month, and it's going to put a real damper on my current fruit-snacking habits when I go into Fred Meyer for some strawbs and they're like, $7/lb and already trying to be moldy. Also needed blueberries (partly for the jam, mostly for the snax), one Granny Smith apple, and more superfine sugar. Publix had all of these things, plus about a million old people 'cause Sunday + Publix = Old People City.

I was glad Ina gave me something easy for this week, because I was packing for Alaska and just *did not have the time* to mess with hunting lobsters or weird cheeses from the internet or whatever. ItemQuest was fairly straightforward, just took Dan a trip to the liquor store next to the Publix for some limoncello. I grabbed this particular lemon curd in the British aisle of Publix; I think last time an Ina recipe called for lemon curd I bought it from Trader Joe's and it was DISGUSTING. I mean, truly awful. I would like to recommend making your own lemon curd if you have the time and the inclination. Ina's lemon curd recipe is phenomenal and it is one thing for which I can say she is truly correct: homemade is BETTER and store-bought is not at all as good. The most beloved cupcakes I have ever made were filled with Ina's lemon curd, and had the lemon curd mixed into the meringue buttercream frosting. HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!! Anyway, the rest of this was fruit that I had on hand, mint, and Greek yogurt which we did have to buy because I don't, as a rule, eat Greek yogurt of my own free will. It's chalky and disgusting.

Dates are something I honestly never even thought about until I did Whole 30. I have mentioned my Whole 30 experience several times over the course of this journey through Back to Basics, but if you're new to reading the blog, this is what happened: I did Whole 30 one time, just to prove that I could, because salvation-by-diet apologists were obsessed with it as the newest fad in righteous eating practices. It was a terrible experience; on top of hating every minute of it for myself and finding exactly zero wellness benefits, I also hated it for Dan who was not allowed to eat popcorn for 30 days. Dan is in love with popcorn; his addiction to it is almost at the level of my addiction to coffee. He gets rage-y without it. But anyway, Whole 30 recipes are big into dates as sweeteners and some of the things you can eat, like Lara Bars, are made with dates. Dates are impossibly chewy. I ate more of them in that 30 days than I ever wanted to, and now when I see them in recipes I can't help but think of that Whole 30. Fortunately for me, I got to begin this recipe by chopping TWO CUPS' worth of dates. Oh, they also kind of look like cockroach bodies, so there's that. The only thing I actually had to get at the store for this was oranges! I had everything else on hand, even Cointreau, thanks to many previous Ina recipes.

Alright so, I'm not the Muffin Man. I don't really make a whole lot of muffins, for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being that on the rankings of breakfast foods they definitely do not crack the top five, maybe not even the top ten. If I have an option for a bagel or a waffle, I'll pick one of them over a muffin every single time. I also prefer cereal, cinnamon rolls, or *cue eye roll* avocado toast. I've just never risen from my slumber and been like, "You know what would really hit the spot right now? A MUFFIN." But!!! In recent months, since my friend Logan came into my life, I've been making muffins a lot more frequently because he really loves them. So the last blueberry muffins I made were from a 99cent Betty Crocker mix packet which he brought into my house and asked me sweetly to make, because they're what he grew up with and along with many preservatives, they are full of nostalgia for him. Here is Logan and me, preparing to mix the muffin batter. Out of respect (and to make up for the disrespect of rolling up with muffin mix), he wore one of my aprons. I will treasure this picture forever.

You guys...Ina has "a thing" about commercial granola bars. Her beef with them, apparently, is that they say they contain real fruit and nuts but that all she sees when she looks at the labels are like, ten different kinds of corn syrup. I'm going to go ahead and guess, just based on this, that none of the lunches her mom packed for her growing up contained any Fruit By the Foot. And surely if we introduced her to Gushers, she would die. This is a real shame. I also feel like this disdain for corn syrup is maybe just a tad self-righteous, coming from the woman whose frosting recipe calls for literally six entire sticks of butter. At that point, what's a little corn syrup to you really? People's nutritional hills-to-die-on really fascinate me (and also kind of annoy me sometimes) and the ones about sugar might get me the most. I feel like, at some point, sugar is sugar and whether you're baking with honey, white sugar, brown sugar, molasses, maple syrup, etc you're still probably making something that's not amazing for you so, in terms of sugar, why not just be in for a penny in for a pound, amirite? So while I'm on this topic, before I even get to the actual point (please, I know you're here for the tangents), I would like to just let anyone and everyone know that I'm absolutely not interested in your "healthy substitutes" for things that taste good in their original form. I do not WANT a chocolate chip pancake made out of bananas and grains you harvested in your field this morning. If I want a banana I will eat one, and if I want a chocolate chip pancake I will eat one, and that's that. And DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT come @ me with "cashew cheese". Just don't. I don't even think I should honor that concept with an explanation of why it's so wrong. If that's not self-evident, I can't help you.
So down to the granola bar ingredients. I rolled up to Kroger only to find that their already meager bulk bins had been EMPTIED because if you scoop dates into a bag and then someone else scoops dates into a bag, you might get the coronavirus. I'm glad they've taken the precaution of removing this shopping option, since I cannot resisting licking my hands after every grocery trip I make. Thankfully, they still had the lil tower of small containers of some of the weirder items right there in the organic section, which was where I was able to find dates. The rest of this stuff was on the baking aisle, with the exception of wheat germ which was, for some reason, with the cereal. I'm still kind of unclear on what wheat germ is actually used for by people, and the context of it being located on the cereal aisle makes me wonder even more. Do people eat it like grape nuts? Sprinkle it on stuff like how people like to do with nutritional yeast right now? ("It tastes just like cheese!" You know what else tastes like cheese? Actual cheese. You're welcome.) Anyway, I was very grateful that Kroger at least had everything I needed and I didn't have to go on a for real ItemQuest.
So down to the granola bar ingredients. I rolled up to Kroger only to find that their already meager bulk bins had been EMPTIED because if you scoop dates into a bag and then someone else scoops dates into a bag, you might get the coronavirus. I'm glad they've taken the precaution of removing this shopping option, since I cannot resisting licking my hands after every grocery trip I make. Thankfully, they still had the lil tower of small containers of some of the weirder items right there in the organic section, which was where I was able to find dates. The rest of this stuff was on the baking aisle, with the exception of wheat germ which was, for some reason, with the cereal. I'm still kind of unclear on what wheat germ is actually used for by people, and the context of it being located on the cereal aisle makes me wonder even more. Do people eat it like grape nuts? Sprinkle it on stuff like how people like to do with nutritional yeast right now? ("It tastes just like cheese!" You know what else tastes like cheese? Actual cheese. You're welcome.) Anyway, I was very grateful that Kroger at least had everything I needed and I didn't have to go on a for real ItemQuest.

At first I saw the pictures of this and thought, "YAY!!! Cinnamon rolls!" And then a couple of weeks ago, I actually tried making cinnamon rolls for the first time and realized that my inability to roll/shape/slice yeast doughs is still a thing. AND THEN I read this entire recipe and realized these get filled with raisins. So here we go!
ItemQuest was only dramatic because the stores just DID NOT have puff pastry sheets; I was only finding it in "shells". I tried Bi-Lo and Dan tried Food Lion before he finally located sheets at Publix. The rest of the ingredients, I already had on hand!
ItemQuest was only dramatic because the stores just DID NOT have puff pastry sheets; I was only finding it in "shells". I tried Bi-Lo and Dan tried Food Lion before he finally located sheets at Publix. The rest of the ingredients, I already had on hand!