Garlic Ciabatta Bread
- By Katie Roche
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- 22 Nov, 2019
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I was honestly thrilled to close out the side dish chapter with my favorite side dish of all time, forever: garlic bread. I think if I had to choose one food to live off of until I die, it would be garlic bread. When I'm making Dan the Food of His People, which is lots of pasta dishes with meat sauce, I am pretty much always just in it for the garlic bread. Spaghetti IS one of the greatest foods known to man...because it comes with garlic bread. But anyway! I went to Whole Foods with the specific goal of finding a nice loaf of ciabatta bread because Columbia is hopeless in the bakery department, and wouldn't you know it: the bakery guy was like, "we're out of ciabatta bread, they've been using it for garlic bread". Who is THEY? Does he mean himself? The bakery has been making their garlic bread with ciabatta? I think the bakery needs to stay in their lane and just make the bread, and let the people who buy it decide whether or not it becomes garlic bread. But he recommended a substitute and that seemed reasonable (an Italian loaf of some kind) and after verifying with him that the texture would be basically the same, I took it.
Whole Foods was not in vain - this recipe called for fresh oregano and other grocery stores are extremely unreliable about having herbs in stock. Whole Foods had that, as well as some obscenely overpriced garlic (from California!). I was able to get all I needed. Additionally, though unrelated, I also got a really fantastic cup of coffee from their new coffee brewing machine, of which I was really skeptical because it seems like the Whole Foods version of a Keurig. It does freshly grind the beans for each cup and you can select which bean from the currently available options. I had had a cup the day before (I knowwww Whole Foods two days in a row, pretty soon I'll be doing pilates) but I'm not kidding: I DREAMED about that coffee. It is good.
Whole Foods was not in vain - this recipe called for fresh oregano and other grocery stores are extremely unreliable about having herbs in stock. Whole Foods had that, as well as some obscenely overpriced garlic (from California!). I was able to get all I needed. Additionally, though unrelated, I also got a really fantastic cup of coffee from their new coffee brewing machine, of which I was really skeptical because it seems like the Whole Foods version of a Keurig. It does freshly grind the beans for each cup and you can select which bean from the currently available options. I had had a cup the day before (I knowwww Whole Foods two days in a row, pretty soon I'll be doing pilates) but I'm not kidding: I DREAMED about that coffee. It is good.
Pretty sure everyone on earth right now has seen that meme about how you measure garlic with your HEART...so I used seven cloves instead of six. I have NEVER ONCE eaten something and thought, "that's too garlicky". I've heard people use those words; I think something might be wrong with them. Garlic is The One.
Ina has you food-process the herbs - parsley and oregano - with the garlic, salt, and pepper. I am appreciative of this instruction, as my knife skills are abysmal and I would never be able to mince all of this as finely as my Cuisinart can. While you're doing this, you heat up a ridiculous amount of olive oil on the stove: half a cup, for ONE loaf of bread.
I am INCREDIBLY PROUD of how evenly I halved this bread. There are a lot of things that aren't my kitchen forte, and this is one of those things. If Dan is home I always ask him to do this part otherwise one half of the bread will end up looking like those lil wooden wedges your elementary school teacher used to keep the classroom door open. But THIS TIME. I am the master of the bread. Truly one of my finest hours in the kitchen, insignificant though it may seem.
The minced herbs get added to the heating oil and those hang out together for a few minutes, so while they were doing that, I softened some butter...in the microwave. :( Despite regularly hearing Dan insist that it's ok to keep a stick of butter on the counter and despite owning a very nice butter dish that matches my Le Creuset dishes, I just never seem to keep butter ready to spread! Anyway, a couple of tablespoons gets spread on the other half of the bread IN ADDITION to the half cup of herby olive oil that goes on the bottom half. Fat and carbs and basically no nutritional value. This is the Food of MY People. It gets wrapped in foil and baked for a few minutes, and then unwrapped and baked a few minutes more.
Back at it with my less-than-flattering (but can we call it "authentic"? that's cool right now right?) food photography. Awkwardly pictured here with leftovers, since that's what was for dinner: some baked chicken, potatoes, tomatoes, and asparagus. In the last two days, I've basically eaten an entire pound of baby tomatoes by myself because Dan picks them out of this and puts them on my plate. And yet...tomato sauce is a key component of all of his favorite foods. I will never understand. I can't really think of anything I don't like in solid form that I would eat in the form of a sauce. Peas, watermelon, beets...I'm sure there are more. I just do not understand how such intense aversion to something in one form can coexist with such intense love of it in another. Actually, I lied. I love snow and I hate humidity and that's all water. I guess it I get it now.
So this garlic bread is amazing. It is truly delicious, and I'd made it before so I knew that already. But it's not the garlic bread I make on the fly when people are coming over. The reason for that is that I do not consider using a cutting board, a food processor, a sauce pan, a pastry brush, and a sheet pan to be "basic". That is entirely too many dishes involved in the process of making something as simple as garlic bread. Given that a large number of people in this country still use the Kraft green cylinder of "parmesan cheese", which my dad has always referred to as "crushed goat toenails", I HIGHLY doubt a lot of people are going to be adding fresh oregano leaves to a grocery store list rather than just using the dried oregano and garlic powder they presumably have in their pantry. This is by no means difficult or complicated and if you have a deep enthusiasm for garlic bread like I do, I encourage you to give it a try! I'd say I fall somewhere in between this and what's actually basic. I buy a nice loaf from Publix, usually Italian loaf (but mannn do I miss Carrs French bread), and I brush it with melted butter and then sprinkle it with garlic powder and freshly grated Parmesan cheese - NOT crushed goat toenails. The most basic thing I can think of, which Ina would never do and which I also implore you to abandon if you do it, is using Texas Toast and calling it garlic bread. So while Ina's take here is by no means actually basic, if there's a takeaway to be had here, it's that basic isn't always better. Let's keep Texas Toast where it belongs - in the trash - and take this day to be inspired to up the garlic bread game. Thanks, Ina.
So this garlic bread is amazing. It is truly delicious, and I'd made it before so I knew that already. But it's not the garlic bread I make on the fly when people are coming over. The reason for that is that I do not consider using a cutting board, a food processor, a sauce pan, a pastry brush, and a sheet pan to be "basic". That is entirely too many dishes involved in the process of making something as simple as garlic bread. Given that a large number of people in this country still use the Kraft green cylinder of "parmesan cheese", which my dad has always referred to as "crushed goat toenails", I HIGHLY doubt a lot of people are going to be adding fresh oregano leaves to a grocery store list rather than just using the dried oregano and garlic powder they presumably have in their pantry. This is by no means difficult or complicated and if you have a deep enthusiasm for garlic bread like I do, I encourage you to give it a try! I'd say I fall somewhere in between this and what's actually basic. I buy a nice loaf from Publix, usually Italian loaf (but mannn do I miss Carrs French bread), and I brush it with melted butter and then sprinkle it with garlic powder and freshly grated Parmesan cheese - NOT crushed goat toenails. The most basic thing I can think of, which Ina would never do and which I also implore you to abandon if you do it, is using Texas Toast and calling it garlic bread. So while Ina's take here is by no means actually basic, if there's a takeaway to be had here, it's that basic isn't always better. Let's keep Texas Toast where it belongs - in the trash - and take this day to be inspired to up the garlic bread game. Thanks, Ina.
For this post, I wanted to combine two summertime flavors into the crisp recipe one of my oldest Alaskan friends passed on to me years ago. Rhubarb, if you're unfamiliar, is a reddish stalk that kind of resembles really big celery. It's very tart and is most commonly paired with strawberry. I've rarely seen it star in its own show dessert-wise, but my friend Kylee has been making rhubarb crisp for years and it's the best crisp I know of. Blueberries are usually in season in late summer; I have not been home for a blueberry season since Dan's last deployment in 2018 so in order to make this recipe I actually used blueberries from a friend's parents' farm in upstate SC! They're a little sweeter than the blueberries I'd have picked at home, but they worked well. I'm going to pretend like I was actually picking blueberries at home in Alaska for the purpose of showing you what that would look like.
I was getting all ready to write this post, going through my process with photos starting in my kitchen when I realized that a lot of my friends probably don't know what fireweed is or where it comes from and this recipe actually starts far, far away from my kitchen. This will be the first of a few posts highlighting iconic Alaskan ingredients. I've wanted to do this for a while because my home inspires me in so many ways, writing and cooking particular among them. Fireweed is a wildflower that is rather ubiquitous in southcentral Alaska and is often considered a gauge for how long summer will last. It is said that when the blooms reach the top of the plant, winter is six weeks away. Whether or not that's accurate, fireweed is found all over in late summer in Alaska. Here is some I spotted in mid-July by Eklutna Lake:
If you know Dan and me very well, you probably know by now that if our life were a sitcom, he'd low-key be the funniest character. Because that is true, I thought I'd include his bottom ten with accompanying remarks before giving the actual bottom ten. His are hilarious, but aren't as legitimate as mine because he actually tried way fewer of these than one might think. I realized as he was flipping through the book that my old coworker Cam probably ate more of these foods than anyone else did. The overarching theme of Dan's song of Ina Garten hatred is not the actual taste of the finished product but more how asinine he finds that particular recipe to be. So here you are, Dan's bottom ten.
#1: Butternut Squash Soup
#1: Butternut Squash Soup
You guys asked for my top ten from the blog, so here we go! And I'm thinking that what you *really* want is actually the bottom ten, so I'll go ahead and give you those next week. That post will probably be A LOT funnier. While preparing to write this post, I had Dan flip through the cookbook to give me HIS top ten and he was all disgruntled as he did so and only came up with eight that he even liked at all. "I'm not a picky eater!" he insists. Yeah ok. Although to be fair, I've seen some cookbooks I would only make, like, one thing out of and plenty I'd make nothing out of, though sometimes that's because I find the chef so annoying. @ the Pioneer Woman. I just don't trust someone who puts sour cream in spaghetti and then bakes it. Plus all her recipe intros are about, like, Ladd or Tadd or whatever the heck her husband's name is "coming in from the fields starving for dinner". If I came in from working in a field and you tried to give me sour cream spaghetti, I'd be like, "How about a hot pocket instead? Thx." Anyway, this is not Dan's blog so these are not his top ten. You can ask him which ones he liked, but you'll end up in a long convo about how much he hates Ina Garten. Anyway, these are not ranked or anything, they're just in order from the cookbook.
So with that, #1: Juice of a Few Flowers
So with that, #1: Juice of a Few Flowers
It was Sunday afternoon and I thought to myself, "What a perfect time to make jam!" I mean, how positively quaint: just sitting in my home in suburbia, finished with weekend chores, relaxing with some knitting...why not? Why not make some jam? I mean, obviously my afternoon-kitchen-activity was directed toward jam-making because it was next up in the book BUT whatever, I was kind of excited! Also, this is the last recipe in this book!!! I'm still in the process of deciding what I'll do now, so if there's something you'd like me to make and tell you about in my own fashion - you know, with lots of tangents and jokes - please do let me know! I'll likely continue to tackle Ina content, but may start including some recipe faves and/or foods people text me about a lot! I get a lot of cake questions, a LOT of frosting questions (because meringue buttercream is bae and I've got everyone in my social circles who eats my food on board), and a lot of fish questions. So look for more food to come, even though this is the last recipe in Back to Basics.
We went to Publix to ItemQuest for this and Dan said, "Don't we already have strawberries???" And I had to confess that I had eaten them all because it's honestly amazing how good fruit can be when it's 1) in season, 2) somewhat local, and 3) not ludicrously expensive. I'm about to travel home to Alaska for about a month, and it's going to put a real damper on my current fruit-snacking habits when I go into Fred Meyer for some strawbs and they're like, $7/lb and already trying to be moldy. Also needed blueberries (partly for the jam, mostly for the snax), one Granny Smith apple, and more superfine sugar. Publix had all of these things, plus about a million old people 'cause Sunday + Publix = Old People City.
We went to Publix to ItemQuest for this and Dan said, "Don't we already have strawberries???" And I had to confess that I had eaten them all because it's honestly amazing how good fruit can be when it's 1) in season, 2) somewhat local, and 3) not ludicrously expensive. I'm about to travel home to Alaska for about a month, and it's going to put a real damper on my current fruit-snacking habits when I go into Fred Meyer for some strawbs and they're like, $7/lb and already trying to be moldy. Also needed blueberries (partly for the jam, mostly for the snax), one Granny Smith apple, and more superfine sugar. Publix had all of these things, plus about a million old people 'cause Sunday + Publix = Old People City.
I was glad Ina gave me something easy for this week, because I was packing for Alaska and just *did not have the time* to mess with hunting lobsters or weird cheeses from the internet or whatever. ItemQuest was fairly straightforward, just took Dan a trip to the liquor store next to the Publix for some limoncello. I grabbed this particular lemon curd in the British aisle of Publix; I think last time an Ina recipe called for lemon curd I bought it from Trader Joe's and it was DISGUSTING. I mean, truly awful. I would like to recommend making your own lemon curd if you have the time and the inclination. Ina's lemon curd recipe is phenomenal and it is one thing for which I can say she is truly correct: homemade is BETTER and store-bought is not at all as good. The most beloved cupcakes I have ever made were filled with Ina's lemon curd, and had the lemon curd mixed into the meringue buttercream frosting. HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!! Anyway, the rest of this was fruit that I had on hand, mint, and Greek yogurt which we did have to buy because I don't, as a rule, eat Greek yogurt of my own free will. It's chalky and disgusting.
Dates are something I honestly never even thought about until I did Whole 30. I have mentioned my Whole 30 experience several times over the course of this journey through Back to Basics, but if you're new to reading the blog, this is what happened: I did Whole 30 one time, just to prove that I could, because salvation-by-diet apologists were obsessed with it as the newest fad in righteous eating practices. It was a terrible experience; on top of hating every minute of it for myself and finding exactly zero wellness benefits, I also hated it for Dan who was not allowed to eat popcorn for 30 days. Dan is in love with popcorn; his addiction to it is almost at the level of my addiction to coffee. He gets rage-y without it. But anyway, Whole 30 recipes are big into dates as sweeteners and some of the things you can eat, like Lara Bars, are made with dates. Dates are impossibly chewy. I ate more of them in that 30 days than I ever wanted to, and now when I see them in recipes I can't help but think of that Whole 30. Fortunately for me, I got to begin this recipe by chopping TWO CUPS' worth of dates. Oh, they also kind of look like cockroach bodies, so there's that. The only thing I actually had to get at the store for this was oranges! I had everything else on hand, even Cointreau, thanks to many previous Ina recipes.
Alright so, I'm not the Muffin Man. I don't really make a whole lot of muffins, for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being that on the rankings of breakfast foods they definitely do not crack the top five, maybe not even the top ten. If I have an option for a bagel or a waffle, I'll pick one of them over a muffin every single time. I also prefer cereal, cinnamon rolls, or *cue eye roll* avocado toast. I've just never risen from my slumber and been like, "You know what would really hit the spot right now? A MUFFIN." But!!! In recent months, since my friend Logan came into my life, I've been making muffins a lot more frequently because he really loves them. So the last blueberry muffins I made were from a 99cent Betty Crocker mix packet which he brought into my house and asked me sweetly to make, because they're what he grew up with and along with many preservatives, they are full of nostalgia for him. Here is Logan and me, preparing to mix the muffin batter. Out of respect (and to make up for the disrespect of rolling up with muffin mix), he wore one of my aprons. I will treasure this picture forever.
You guys...Ina has "a thing" about commercial granola bars. Her beef with them, apparently, is that they say they contain real fruit and nuts but that all she sees when she looks at the labels are like, ten different kinds of corn syrup. I'm going to go ahead and guess, just based on this, that none of the lunches her mom packed for her growing up contained any Fruit By the Foot. And surely if we introduced her to Gushers, she would die. This is a real shame. I also feel like this disdain for corn syrup is maybe just a tad self-righteous, coming from the woman whose frosting recipe calls for literally six entire sticks of butter. At that point, what's a little corn syrup to you really? People's nutritional hills-to-die-on really fascinate me (and also kind of annoy me sometimes) and the ones about sugar might get me the most. I feel like, at some point, sugar is sugar and whether you're baking with honey, white sugar, brown sugar, molasses, maple syrup, etc you're still probably making something that's not amazing for you so, in terms of sugar, why not just be in for a penny in for a pound, amirite? So while I'm on this topic, before I even get to the actual point (please, I know you're here for the tangents), I would like to just let anyone and everyone know that I'm absolutely not interested in your "healthy substitutes" for things that taste good in their original form. I do not WANT a chocolate chip pancake made out of bananas and grains you harvested in your field this morning. If I want a banana I will eat one, and if I want a chocolate chip pancake I will eat one, and that's that. And DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT come @ me with "cashew cheese". Just don't. I don't even think I should honor that concept with an explanation of why it's so wrong. If that's not self-evident, I can't help you.
So down to the granola bar ingredients. I rolled up to Kroger only to find that their already meager bulk bins had been EMPTIED because if you scoop dates into a bag and then someone else scoops dates into a bag, you might get the coronavirus. I'm glad they've taken the precaution of removing this shopping option, since I cannot resisting licking my hands after every grocery trip I make. Thankfully, they still had the lil tower of small containers of some of the weirder items right there in the organic section, which was where I was able to find dates. The rest of this stuff was on the baking aisle, with the exception of wheat germ which was, for some reason, with the cereal. I'm still kind of unclear on what wheat germ is actually used for by people, and the context of it being located on the cereal aisle makes me wonder even more. Do people eat it like grape nuts? Sprinkle it on stuff like how people like to do with nutritional yeast right now? ("It tastes just like cheese!" You know what else tastes like cheese? Actual cheese. You're welcome.) Anyway, I was very grateful that Kroger at least had everything I needed and I didn't have to go on a for real ItemQuest.
So down to the granola bar ingredients. I rolled up to Kroger only to find that their already meager bulk bins had been EMPTIED because if you scoop dates into a bag and then someone else scoops dates into a bag, you might get the coronavirus. I'm glad they've taken the precaution of removing this shopping option, since I cannot resisting licking my hands after every grocery trip I make. Thankfully, they still had the lil tower of small containers of some of the weirder items right there in the organic section, which was where I was able to find dates. The rest of this stuff was on the baking aisle, with the exception of wheat germ which was, for some reason, with the cereal. I'm still kind of unclear on what wheat germ is actually used for by people, and the context of it being located on the cereal aisle makes me wonder even more. Do people eat it like grape nuts? Sprinkle it on stuff like how people like to do with nutritional yeast right now? ("It tastes just like cheese!" You know what else tastes like cheese? Actual cheese. You're welcome.) Anyway, I was very grateful that Kroger at least had everything I needed and I didn't have to go on a for real ItemQuest.
At first I saw the pictures of this and thought, "YAY!!! Cinnamon rolls!" And then a couple of weeks ago, I actually tried making cinnamon rolls for the first time and realized that my inability to roll/shape/slice yeast doughs is still a thing. AND THEN I read this entire recipe and realized these get filled with raisins. So here we go!
ItemQuest was only dramatic because the stores just DID NOT have puff pastry sheets; I was only finding it in "shells". I tried Bi-Lo and Dan tried Food Lion before he finally located sheets at Publix. The rest of the ingredients, I already had on hand!
ItemQuest was only dramatic because the stores just DID NOT have puff pastry sheets; I was only finding it in "shells". I tried Bi-Lo and Dan tried Food Lion before he finally located sheets at Publix. The rest of the ingredients, I already had on hand!